Everything Is Better With Bacon
There is a whole world outside of your window, with wars, abortions, complex human relationships, but there is also bacon.
Types of Bacon
The worst kind of bacon is Canadian bacon. Canadian bacon is less impressive than American bacon. Ireland and the UK bacon is Canadian bacon. That is weird that UK bacon is gross ham. This is called back bacon, the middle cut of the pig’s back. It looks like ham.
Side bacon is the cut that is most popular in American grocery stores. It is an intermingling of fat and muscle. It is dark brown with white stripes. It is made from pork belly. It is the same cut of the pig as pancetta.
Turkey bacon is popular among health-conscious people. It has less cholesterol than pork. But it tastes like cardboard.
Bacon Memories
I remember eating bacon with my Dad at a local diner, called Dino’s. Bacon was the breakfast meat. A plate came with grits, eggs, toast, jam, butter, orange juice, coffee.
Another time I remember bacon was at my great grandmother’s house, where she often microwaved the precooked bacon for my breakfast.
Bacon Cooking Techniques
I cook bacon. I pan-fry. The bacon goes fast. I’m always out, always needing more.
Sometimes I bake it, slowly, so it comes out perfect but so late.
The trick of cooking bacon is to never wash the discarded bacon grease down the sink. Wipe it up with a few paper towels, and dump the rest into the garbage. If it goes down the sink, the sink will clog.
Grilling bacon works well. It gets crispier. Just get a disposable tin pan, lay it on top of the metal part, and fry the bacon on top.
Instagram showed me I can pan-fry in water, that this renders fat.
Pan-fry and lightly bake in the toaster. This adds crispiness and burns fat. It tastes best this way.
Bacon Recipes
BBQ pulled pork sandwiches take too long to slow-cook the pork. A quick alternative is bacon sandwiches, with BBQ sauce.
Chicken Cordon Bleu is a deep-fried chicken breast with cheese and bacon inside. Be careful. This recipe is deadly greasy.
Bacon Cheeseburgers are tasty, if the patties have not been left in the freezer for long. Things that live in the freezer taste like freezer.
Bacon Quotes
“If life gives you lemons, throw them away and get some bacon”
“I can’t make everyone happy. I’m not bacon.”