Richard Harrison Miami writes…
Richard Harrison Florida Atlantic writes…
Have you ever been to a concert and found it an uncomfortable, anxiety-inducing experience?
If you have anxiety, like I do then you probably get nervous at shows and find yourself alone in a corner sipping a cold beer and ignoring everything.
You go there thinking you will meet someone and forge a social connection that will make you happy. You get nervous in the moment. You overthink everything you say. You wind up talking to someone who never really interested you. You come home with a sense of rejection.
Maybe you are at a punk concert and the singer is angry and their spittle is flying and people are pushing you from all around. That scares you. Or maybe you’ve come to your senses and go to safer concerts in stead. You are queueing for drinks and there is a cool person in front of you, so you want to talk to them. Do you? You’re not pretending to enjoy the silence at the concert, are you?
Aside from work, where else are you going to make friends? That is why you might want to meet someone at a concert. You have a mutual interest. Bang! You might both play music. Boom! Do something about it! Shabam!
Well, here is a list of 8 things you can do to break through that repression.
1. Shout at the crowd, “wassup donkeys?” This garners attention. People will remember you.
2. Approach someone attractive and ask them a question about their whatzit. A whatzit is a launch ramp for conversation, like a band T-shirt. It displays a person’s interests.
3. Speak to people in a casual, conversational way. Try not to say “yeah” in response. Use an anecdote or funny story that you practiced in the mirror.
4. If someone says something that bothers you, say “I feel ______ (insert emotion) about what you said, because I need _______ (insert need) and I’m not getting that.” Don’t get confused or confrontational.
5. Express emotions. There’s no reason not to. If that feels embarrassing, then unpack that. Our brains challenge as a rule, and your ability to speak to someone new will set off alarms. Don’t let anyone stop you.
6. Listen closely. Respond with your interpretation of what people said to you.
7. Attend the concert alone. This will keep you from being tied down to a friend. You will be able to meet folks.
8. Know the lyrics to the songs. Listen to them heavily before the concert. That way, people will notice you singing and join in.
I hope you enjoy this list. I also hope you stop going to concerts just to support bands who are mean to you and that you get a real job.
I hope you make some friends. Too often life feels disconnected.
If you really give this meeting people thing the old college try, then you will be happier, whether or not you do get somebodies number. To be real, I would go for the number. Having somebody to lean on any old time is unmatched in enjoyment.