Categories
Self-Definition

Things I Like That I Am Now Admitting That I Like

I like when my friends make fun of me.

I like being terrified at concerts, feeling like the band is gonna kill me.

I like country music.

I like Nashville.

I like the 90’s.

I like country clubs.

I like rich people.

I like punching people I hate.

I like when people who point the finger at others and cry racist get their feelings hurt.

I like Tucker Carlson.

I like feeling like I live on the edge. I like to go into danger and escape.

I like leather.

I like when people break vegans of the habit of being vegan.

I like real sugar, not stevia.

I like soda pop.

I like dark beer, not gold beer. I like the blackest beer you got.

I like the blackest humor you got, raunchy, bawdy jokes.

I like making fun of yoga.

I like breaking up in a public way.

I like breaking up at a moment’s notice, no hanging on.

I like a one night stand.

I like no fat chicks.

I like getting new tattoos, no fear of other people.

I like mainstream rock.

I like rap and hip hop.

I like my family better than yours.

Categories
How To Blog

My process

Blog

Earning $48,000 per year blogging takes time and effort. One must write lots of blogs, to draw people in.

Blogs need you to edit, edit, edit. Good writing comes from getting the ideas down, going back later to see how it sounds, and changing things as you see fit.

  1. Research buzzworthy topics on Wikipedia.
  2. Form an opinion. Do this by choosing a side.
  3. Write a thesis statement.
  4. Write your blog. Include information that fills in your reader.
  5. Publish.
  6. Go back the next week and edit.
  7. Re-publish.

Collage

  1. Walk to the local Walgreen’s, where you buy black and white newspapers.

2. Set them up on an art table, which you can get paint on.

3. Cut them into pieces for the juiciest words that you deem the things that need to be said, in our society, not disposing of the papers, but using them as a resource.

4. Glue them onto some special collage paper.

5. Arrange a collage around the paperscraps.

6. Draw thought bubbles to create satire.

7. Keep going.

Song

Writing songs just takes a little effort and know-how of creating music. With guitar it is easy to use tablature. One need not know music theory, though it is useful.

I write song lyrics down with the guitar on my knee. Creating the music on guitar is one step. Making up the lyrics is another. After combining guitar and verse lyrics, I think of the chorus and bridge.

  1. Have a pen, paper, and a surface to write down your verse.
  2. Sing the lyrics to yourself.
  3. Write down lyrics for chorus.
  4. Nail down vocal music.
  5. Record musical notation, so it does not get forgotten.
  6. Create guitar music that complements the vocal part.
  7. Create music for vocal and guitar of chorus.
  8. Create bridge music.
  9. Practice playing entire song without stopping.

Watercolor

I love to do these. Pleasure!

  1. Draw in pencil your forms.
  2. Ink them in pen.
  3. Add in watercolors.

Poem

  1. Sit at your typewriter.
  2. Type things that you are feeling.
  3. Write things you want to say.
  4. Incorporate literary devices (i.e. internal rhyme, perfect rhyme, and alliteration, allusion).
  5. Get another sheet of paper if the topic of the poem changes.
  6. When the feeling takes you to resume thinking about whatever you originally started writing about, reinsert that paper and begin writing on that poem again.
Categories
Blog

Bacon

Everything Is Better With Bacon

There is a whole world outside of your window, with wars, abortions, complex human relationships, but there is also bacon.

Types of Bacon

The worst kind of bacon is Canadian bacon. Canadian bacon is less impressive than American bacon. Ireland and the UK bacon is Canadian bacon. That is weird that UK bacon is gross ham. This is called back bacon, the middle cut of the pig’s back. It looks like ham.

Side bacon is the cut that is most popular in American grocery stores. It is an intermingling of fat and muscle. It is dark brown with white stripes. It is made from pork belly. It is the same cut of the pig as pancetta.

Turkey bacon is popular among health-conscious people. It has less cholesterol than pork. But it tastes like cardboard.

Bacon Memories

I remember eating bacon with my Dad at a local diner, called Dino’s. Bacon was the breakfast meat. A plate came with grits, eggs, toast, jam, butter, orange juice, coffee.

Another time I remember bacon was at my great grandmother’s house, where she often microwaved the precooked bacon for my breakfast.

Bacon Cooking Techniques

I cook bacon. I pan-fry. The bacon goes fast. I’m always out, always needing more.

Sometimes I bake it, slowly, so it comes out perfect but so late.

The trick of cooking bacon is to never wash the discarded bacon grease down the sink. Wipe it up with a few paper towels, and dump the rest into the garbage. If it goes down the sink, the sink will clog.

Grilling bacon works well. It gets crispier. Just get a disposable tin pan, lay it on top of the metal part, and fry the bacon on top.

Instagram showed me I can pan-fry in water, that this renders fat.

Pan-fry and lightly bake in the toaster. This adds crispiness and burns fat. It tastes best this way.

Bacon Recipes

BBQ pulled pork sandwiches take too long to slow-cook the pork. A quick alternative is bacon sandwiches, with BBQ sauce.

Chicken Cordon Bleu is a deep-fried chicken breast with cheese and bacon inside. Be careful. This recipe is deadly greasy.

Bacon Cheeseburgers are tasty, if the patties have not been left in the freezer for long. Things that live in the freezer taste like freezer.

Bacon Quotes

“If life gives you lemons, throw them away and get some bacon”

“I can’t make everyone happy. I’m not bacon.”

Categories
Blogpost Personal Journal

Scared This Will Be The Last Time I Ever Talk To Someone Special

My friend and one-time personal mentor, Eddie Felsenthal, is getting really old now. He said, “I am not dead yet, so I am doing pretty good,” when I asked him how he’s doing, upon picking up my call. This was funny, but it made it true that he is getting old, his health is declining. Eddie has always been friendly. He was around, where I grew up in Memphis. He lived by my great grandmother’s house on a chunk of land in Germantown. Eddie befriended my great uncle, Lee Taylor, when they were attending the same college, up east, at an Ivy League, at Princeton. Eddie played tennis on the PGA tour, at one point in his life. He asked me to play tennis, and he took me to the courts in Germantown, where we hit for a while. He also took me out running, when I was about 20 years old. Eddie used to play tennis against my great grandfather, Papaw, who had courts on the massive chunk of property.

In my years attending University of Memphis, I would visit my great grandmother’s property often, sleeping over, swimming in the swimming pool, and visiting with my great grandmother, Grams. We would sit in the library and talk. Eddie would come over, occasionally, for dinner. He came on one special occasion, when I brought my ex-girlfriend. We sat on the screened-in porch and ate. One of Grams’s servants cleaned up and brought in our food, of which I only remember the avocado and tomato salad.

Grams’s cook, Dorothy, would cook fish some nights. Fried fish, with cajun spices. She also used to make fried chicken. It was soul food. There were green beans, mashed potatoes, biscuits, greens, squash, peas & carrots, etc. Usually, there would be a soup, for a starter, split-pea soup, or any of a number of soups. Then the biscuits would be brought out, served with slices of butter. The servant came in with a chilled sterling carafe and filled everyone’s water glasses. The main course would be brought out, usually a meat and three vegetables, cooked southern style. Then there would be a dessert, sometimes ice cream, sometimes charlotte with jam inside and butter cookies, sometimes pecan pie.

Eddie got me a job the summer between high school and college. His insurance firm put me to work, making phone calls, helping out. I used to work there in the mornings, in an office building, sat in an office chair, in Germantown, off Poplar, on the very edge of east Memphis. Eventually, Eddie told me he would not be employing me any more, that he could not afford to keep paying me out of pocket. It was not a real job anyway, no check, just cash. He and I talked a lot after that, though. We used to see each other at Grams’s and chat on the phone, too. I would call him up for advice. He had allowed my aunt Sarah and my uncle James to help him in work, too, decades before me. I believe Grams suggested to me that I try working for Eddie. Grams had a lot of good advice.

I took Eddie to Little Italy one time, where I was an employee. I remember we ate together, one afternoon I had off. We had side salads. There were no kosher options there for him. The salad was okay, though. The Cokes, too. I think he may have had cheese calzone. I am sure I would have wanted to eat one myself, it being delicious, still the best calzone I have found.

I visited with Eddie, today. I called him. I told him I might stop by, when I am in Memphis, in September. He invited me to bring my girlfriend there, said we could stay with him. Might not be the best. Might need to get a hotel, if I bring Gloria, my girlfriend, from Miami. If we went to Eddie’s house and stayed a night, then they could feed us and the two Glorias meet. Wouldn’t that be funny? We could eat food from the Commissary, sit around Eddie’s beautiful sun room, and talk about precious things. Eddie could tell Gloria things about my family that I do not know how to say as well as he does. Eddie and I could take Gloria out to play tennis, because she says she wants to go play, just needs someone to coach her out there, get past her laughter and teasing.

Eddie has a car. He can take us somewhere. He can take us for a walk at Shelby Farms. He can take us to the farm, my great grandmother’s house, the property I grew up visiting often, invited people over to to attend my birthday party, to hang out for the afternoon, to sleep over, where my Mom invited half the class over for my going away party, when I moved to Nashville, where my childhood friend Wyatt Thaemert had his wedding, where every 1990’s Christmas Day was celebrated, where I would go for celebrating holidays like Halloween and Valentine’s Day, to get themed candies from the stores, where Grandmother would have someone buy gifts for us, where I would go to walk in the wild sunshine of nature on free afternoons. ‘The family home is called the Farm,’ I will say to Gloria B. Eddie will show us around, show us what it looks like now, how it is different, how it is the same. The gate will be open to us, as I was told by my mother that we, the children of Grams, will be allowed to enter the campus, whenever, as an offering from the school to make it seem nice to us, the family of the donators.

Categories
Blog Blogpost Personal Journal Self-Definition

Growing Up

This is at the Black Lodge

I grew up in Memphis, Tennessee, land of yellow fever, broken glass, where Jeff Buckley drowned, trying to swim the river in boots.

There was an iconic bridge from which my father threw my butterfly knife, which he considered contraband.

I remember going to a party my dad took me to, at which I sat on a couch that was mounted high on the wall, on which I sat with some interesting person who showed me a tiny cartoon flipbook, that you would run the pages over your fingers to make the images on the pages appear in motion. It was book of Mickey and the Beanstalk, the giant chasing the mouse.

The trashcan that got improved sometime in the 2000s

I remember going to the Brooks Museum with my dad and looking at some art exhibit there, in which there was a photo of a North Mississippi All Star, who had a zit. The zit was unhidden, proof of perfect imperfection.

my dad sitting with his Indian buffet

I remember going to a party in el centro, at which fried chicken was deep fried in on the roof of frriends 5 story home, at which we jammed econo jazz in the basement.

I remember seeing Lucero perform at an art exhibit, when the band wore blue Work body suits. I was very little. I commented to the singer “you guys rule, but you drool.”

I attended University of Memphis for a little over a year. I changed from someone who dressed like a punk to someone who tries to present himself attractively. I felt so alien, so ashamed. I felt the life I desired was beyond my grasp, the people I wanted to get close to who I would see at the Hi Tone and around campus did not like me back. I did not know how to befriend them. I felt embarrassed of owning some red Dr Martens, got rid of them. I wanted to be in a punk band, a desire that quickly dissolved into inachievability as it became something I wanted so badly and hated for being beyond my grasp, a goal that made me question myself.

I went to 201 Poplar for a couple hours, when I got arrested one night, driving home, after drinking a huge bottle of Vodka. The system let me post my own bail, which was $100, and did not require me to have someone sign me out. In Nashville, when I was arrested driving home from the bar, two years later, they required both more bail money than I could afford and also someone else had to come get me from the jail.

drunk again, oh well, they say it is bad but I sure enjoy an ice cold beer

I studied for my GED in a building, behind Monsieur Jeffrey Evans house, on S Tucker, in midtown. A sweet older lady tutored me in math (i.e. slope, pre-calculus, calculus). She brought me to a level at which I would be able to pass. I passed the GED on Airways Blvd, where a sweet girl called me red bird.

Categories
How To Guide Reviews of Wines

How to Select a Good Wine at Your Wine Shop

As I am a Sales Associate at a large liquor store chain, I have had the experience of seeking out good wines. It is a hit or miss affair, choosing wine. Sometimes wines can have bad structure and turn to vinegar over night. Sometimes the flavors are just banal. Other times you find a good wine.

“I do not know what I am looking for,” say many customers. When I ask how much do you want to spend, they say “it can cost any amount” or “it does not matter.” 

In my honest opinion, this is not a good strategy for selecting a good wine at your local wine shop. People have high expectations of high cost wines. When the wines are anything less than remarkable, it is not a good wine.

  • Choose Californian/Oregonian/Washingtonian pinots or chardonnays before you go paying for the high dollar French Burgundies. West coast American wines have brighter, stronger flavors than French wines. They are also more affordable, not only because the idolatry of brand names is less of a cost-increasing factor, but also because Americans who buy American wines skip paying import taxes included in the overall price.
  • This is the best advice that I have for you as far as how to select a good wine at your local wine shop. Listen to your wine shop’s Sales Associate and buy the wines that they suggest.
  • Do not obstinately seek an unavailable wine, leaving the store without any good wine. When it is unavailable, just buy another good wine.
  • Flexibility in the process of selecting a good wine is key to creating new discoveries. A new discovery fills your heart with joy.
  • Buy a lot of wines from the wine shop. That way you can sample many at the same time. That way you will be able to like or dislike according to your own palette. 
  • Consider choosing either pinot noir or chardonnay, as those are the only varietals grown in Burgundy, the most expensive and most highly-coveted wine region in the world. 
  • Experiment by dividing the wine into quantities. Put some in your decanter. Put some in the refrigerator. Drink some right out of the bottle. Drink some after it has decanted. Let some stay over night and see whether it is vinegar. If it is vinegar, then it has poor structure. Grenache has poor structure. It turns to vinegar. So do the wines of Beaujolais. 
  • Try the famous wines. Some famous Cabernet Sauvignons are Stag’s Leap (with that placement of the apostrophe) and Caymus. 
  • Catena is a famous brand for Malbecs. For pinot noir, try Rochioli. For rose, try Whispering Angel. For Bordeaux, try Haut -Brion. For port, try Taylor. For champagne, try Veuve Cliquot. For Pinot Grigio, try Santa Margherita. For Sauvignon Blanc, try Kim Crawford. These are very successful brands for a good reason. Sometimes they are even more affordable. The wines are doing so well that the prices can go low, the producers profit enough to make the wines marketable by price.
  • Do not fall into the trap that expensive=good. You can get some good wine for cheap. You can get some bland wine for expensive.
  • Have some good wines that you keep in your bar for years. Let them age. Open them at the right moment in time. 

If you find yourself near a wineshop, go in and buy some wines. Any wine will do. Drink wine just to know the flavors. That way you will try a lot of wines. Then, you will know how varied the tastes can be. You may discover something you really love. And your brain will release happy chemicals.

Categories
Politics Reviews of Films

About The Movie Vice, The One About Dick Cheney, What A Republican Propaganda It Is!

Yeah, so I know Dick Cheney is a war-profiteering murderer. He killed millions of middle easterners. He opened the door for the Koch brothers, Republican prison magnates to open more private prisons and institute more modern day slavery. The movie Vice is literally brainwash, a whitewash of history. I was there. This is not what happened. The Bush administration was not a rosy nostalgic thing. Those guys were corrupt. Every day new atrocities were listed. They represented White America. Pure and simple. White America is racist oppression, domination of the rich over the poor. This movie paints his daughter as lesbian. Bull. Bush and Cheney were opposed to same-sex marriage. They were preventers of the progress of human history towards accepting LGBTQIA people. This movie Vice that is on Netflix today just bothers me that people will see that and believe Dick Cheney was a good dude. That man was a monster.

Categories
Prose Reviews of Series

Elegy for House of Cards

I have binged all the episodes of House of Cards, the British version. I never bored of it, could have probably done it in one sitting. I finished late last weekend.

The main character in this deliciously scandalous television program, whose name is Ian Richardson, showed me truths that were previously a mystery. He will be remembered for his expressive facial expressions, his fastidiously maintained high quality of apparel, and his intuition.

There will be a place dug out in TV cemetery for the popular program, which will be filled in with other addicting programs. Mondays through Sundays, people can visit and discuss with each other the show’s qualities that they enjoyed.

The funeral will be attended by close family and friends. An announcement will be made in the workplace TV newspaper that the show is now over and people can go back to watching their regularly scheduled programming.

Categories
Photographs Poetry

Bad wine poem

Categories
Photographs

free day selfie